I know we said July Fourth was the most overrated holiday of the year, but we lied.
Halloween is.
As our favorite weather forecaster and Taco Bell lover once said, I’m a mouse, duh.
But just because we don’t like dressing up as a sexy cat, schoolgirl, or nurse, doesn’t mean we don’t like earth-shattering music, watered-down tequila drinks for $18, and boys who wear way too much Ax with way too little game.
See Also: The 5 Best Halloween Events in NYC
We’re sure you’ve seen your local Long Island club promoter— AKA your bestie from Roslyn—post about “the hypest event of the year,” but we’ll be the judges of that.
DM us for tickets and bottle service (JK, please don’t).
Blow away your hard-earned money, and run into your high school friends, college friends, camp friends, teen tour friends, summer program friends, abroad friends, intern friends, and work friends at the littest Halloween parties in NYC.
General Admission Females: $8 dollars in Amazon devil ears
General Admission Males: $7,500 for a table with vodka sodas minus the vodka
Cipriani’s Saturday Night Halloween Party is the only party on this list I can confidently say would be fun if you went sober. But like, don’t because there is a four-hour open premium bar featuring a whole selection of liquor, wine, beer, soft drinks, and juices. This Halloween extravaganza is the Met Gala of Halloween parties—the red carpet is the perfect place to show off your non-basic costume that you secretly bought off of Revolve. Make sure your all-lace jumpsuit isn’t too tight, because the world-renowned Cipriani chef will be serving appetizers and a 3-course meal. The best Italian in the city and a grammy-nominated DJ?! Sign us up.
Chances are, all of your dreams will not come true at Dream Downtown. Unless your name is Jordan, and you’re 5’8 from Jericho with slightly better genetics than your friends. Lucky for you, Halloween goggles are a real thing. You better schedule your Ubers ahead of time, because Meatpacking’s hottest hotel is offering a vodka open bar from 9-10 pm. Hurry, you only have an hour to drink as much Pineapple Smirnoff as you can! Tickets are $55, which could buy you two things from Zara’s new collection.
For just $84—which is pocket change for “the best night of your life”—you can drink and dance the night away at Avant Gardner. Brooklyn’s hottest nightclub will be hosting its Halloween Festival on Friday, October 29th, and Saturday, October 30th. Some highlights include Carl Craig, Vintage Culture, Hot since 82, Innellea, Dubfire, and many other DJs we can’t pronounce. Besides, you’ll look slightly less basic going to Brooklyn instead of Midtown. But maybe ditch your Space Cowboy hat, whatever that means anyways.
If you’re still in that Sophomore Year NYU internship mode, then the DL is the place for you. But this time, you don’t need to use your fake id from Connecticut. October 31st may not be the classiest night of your life, but you’re guaranteed to flirt with a guy who went to Penn State, Indiana or Syracuse who lives in Murray Hill with his “buds.” We recommend pregaming early because it’s free entry until 11:30. Don’t let the name fool you, this place is most definitely not on the DL, but it sure does get rowdy!
If you’re celebrating Halloween at 230 Fifth’s Devil’s Heaven party, you’re definitely the type who uses the Vsco C1 filter and captions your post, “The Devil To My Angel.” You may be the youngest one in the sea of Dani’s and Lexi’s, but you’ll definitely have a fun night. This honorary post-work drinks spot boasts some of the best views of Manhattan, which is so much better than being trapped in a sweaty frat-like basement.
What’s better than a Halloween party? A Halloween darty. It just gives you another excuse to blackout during the day and spend a little less on your overnight Dolls Kill order. You can wear a cute fit and ears you found in your Gucci crossbody every girl in American has, and totally be considered festive. The day rage—the cool kids call it “dage”—is from 4 pm-10 pm, so hopefully your Sunday scaries won’t be too bad. Besides, you’ll still have time to get a slice of Prince Street, so that’s a major incentive for going.
We would do Halloween weekend every weekend of the year—ok, definitely an exaggeration—if it means we could hear Tiesto perform live. This is probably the least cheugy event of the season (aside from Cipriani, that’s in a whole different category), so we recommend buying a ticket. Everybody’s favorite DJ will kick off Halloween weekend Friday, October 29th at the New York Expo Center in the Bronx, which is totally worth the ridiculously overpriced Lyft bill.
You’ll be a wreck if you don’t snag a ticket before they sell out. They’re going faster than tickets to Abroadfest and that random music festival in Florence, so force your non-committal friend to plan in advance. AKA, not the day of when she realizes she doesn’t have anywhere to wear her Kendall Jenner cowboy costume. Come on Brittany, that was so last year. If you can bounce back from Tiesto, head back to the New York Expo Center on Saturday, the 30th. We stan a girl who rallies.
If it’s at Marquee, you know you'll be strolling in at 4 am with no shoes and no dignity. You also know you will spend stupid amounts of money on cheap tequila shots, vodka crans with questionable amounts of alcohol, and an insanely short bodycon dress so you can fit in with the rest of the chic crowd. Sarcasm, people. Make fun of the Taos, One Oaks, and Marquees of the world all you want, but we promise you it’s a guaranteed fun night. Plus, you may even meet your own Noah Tepperberg.
Photography by: Sourced Unsplash
